


Campfire stories

by Zoya113



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: IG request, all the stories in here are based off real stuff even the last one, just kinda ghost story stuff, keeps me up at night lmao, tw for mentions of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25645474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113
Summary: Melissa is convinced she can find a story that can frighten Schaeffer. It’s a lot easier said than done.
Relationships: Melissa & Colonel Schaeffer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Campfire stories

**Author's Note:**

> Another IG request for @starkid_moodboards ! Thank you very much 🥺 !

Despite being the same height, Schaeffer was making much longer strides than Melissa, moving quite seamlessly over the uneven ground. 

There was no words spoken between the two - mostly because Melissa was sort of out of breath already.

She didn’t want to seem like she couldn’t keep up though, not when it already took enough pestering to let her come on the trip as it was. 

To say Schaeffer liked her quiet time was an understatement, and a secluded camping trip was probably not something she wanted Melissa tagging along with.

But hey. Her best friend was only in Hatchetfield every so often, and Melissa didn’t want to miss a chance to hang out with her. She just promised she’d behave - Schaeffer didn’t shy away from being blunt with Melissa and she was quite aware she had a tendency to be annoying so she wasn’t going to make this trip any more trouble by complaining about how fast the colonel was going, especially when she was carrying the bags. No. She was going to be adult and mature and cool, someone the colonel would hang out with if she were on a proper trip.

“You don’t strike me as the camping type,” Schaeffer commented, breaking both the silence and her train of thought. 

“No, but I am the ‘hang out with my friend’ type!” She joked a little too enthusiastically. “I bet I could be pretty good at the camping stuff!” She started.

Schaeffer snorted. “You bet?” 

“Yup!” She straightened her back, a little more energetic now that she had Schaeffer’s attention and could prove her point. 

“Perfect. How about you give me a hand unpacking then?” Schaeffer instructed as she set the rucksack down on the ground, letting it tumble over. 

Melissa nodded, a small hop in he step as she hurried to unpack it. 

“Wow rabbit, just a little eager huh?” Schaeffer glanced up from where she was tearing open the velcro of the bottom pocket. “Ever set a tent before? It’s nothing to jump at.”

She shook her head. “No, but the other parts of camping sound fun!” She exclaimed. “In the movies they always tell scary stories by the campfire you know? And I’ve got so many. I watch weird documentaries all the time. Just the other week I was watching one about a person who went missing and-“ she paused, noticing Schaeffer wasn’t paying much attention. That probably wouldn’t be as scary to Schaeffer actually, not to a soldier. She would have to take her story up a notch if she wanted to scare the colonel and give her something worth her time. 

“And?” Schaeffer prompted when Melissa had stopped for too long. “Who was it?” 

“Oh. She was a librarian, and all that was left behind were this set of half finish tax reports she was working on,” she trailed off, trying to key Schaeffer into the fact she was backing out. She would find a cooler story. 

“Oh. Tax reports. That’s scary, kid,” she chuckled, shaking her head. “I do not want to hear about paper work tonight. At all. Okay?”

Melissa nodded obediently. “Okay. Well. I’ll think of something different. But I think I’m pretty fear proof myself, Schaeffer.”

“Oh yeah?” She didn’t seem as interested in Melissa as she was setting up the tent as she tried to map out in her head where it would go, staring hard at the floor. 

“You sound like you’re humouring me, Schaeffer,” she sat down on the dirt, her hands absently searching through the bags in an attempt to seem productive. “I don’t scare easily.” 

Schaeffer dipped her head, putting her hands on her hips as she concentrated. “Yeah. I believe you,” she didn’t sound like it. She dropped a peg to the ground. “Tent’s gonna go here. Wanna set up the stove?” 

Melissa searched through the bag, pulling out the metal box. “Yep. I can do it! Ooh, I know a scary story,” she continued, unfolding the hex stove and searching for matches.

“Try me,” Schaeffer’s words were grunted through the third peg she was holding between her teeth as she drove the second peg into the ground with her boot. 

“Yeah. I saw it on a documentary, it was about this restaurant that like, killed its staff, and they cooked ‘em into the meals.” Even the thought made her shiver. 

“Oh. That scared you huh?”

“What? No.” She had actually quit eating out for a month after seeing that. “Not at all. I know that couldn’t happen to me.” She whipped out the match box, striking a match in an attempt to avoid eye contact. 

“Huh. Crazy world huh?” Schaeffer commented, unfazed. “Yeah. Back in 86 there was a horrible accident with a platoon, they got cut off from the group and-“

“Ah!” Melissa cut her off before she could finish that thought. “Hey, look. Stove is going!” 

“Well I didn’t ask you to light it,” Schaeffer glanced over her shoulder as she pulled the tent out of its bag. “Ah never mind. What was I saying?” At least she forgot that line of thought afterwards. 

“Oh. Nothing much. Just about the tent,” Melissa quickly changed the topic. She didn’t think she wanted to hear where that was going, honestly. She wasn’t scared of course, eating people just made her rationally uncomfortable. Apparently Schaeffer did not spook at that though. 

As Schaeffer fiddled with the tent Melissa began to concoct a story just for Schaeffer in her head, it was attempting to anyways. The only thing she knew Schaeffer was scared of was big words, honestly. She was kind of scared of her cat if anything. She didn’t know, feeling normal human emotions, maybe? Melissa didn’t know how she could make a scary story out of any of that, a cat doing paper work seemed incredibly cute in her head.   
But she had plenty of time to think about it. 

“Hey. I’m going to get firewood,” Schaeffer soon announced as she tied down the last side of the tent, standing back up and brushing the dirt off her pants. “You stay here.”

“Huh? I could come and help though!” She insisted. In her mind this trip was to hang out with Schaeffer, it had nothing to do with actually camping. 

“You sure?” Schaeffer seemed skeptical. “It’s a bit off the beaten path. It’s too difficult for you. The sun is going down, you might get scared.” 

“I’m not fragile, you know! It’ll be easier with two sets of hands. I’ll help!” She stood up, waiting for Schaeffer’s agreement, but instead she seemed thoughtful. 

“Oh yes. Probably for the best you come with me actually,” she seemed to change her mind suddenly. “One time I was on a biv with the recruits and we left a cadet on his own and we just didn’t see him again,” she informed Melissa rather nonchalantly as she turned off to the woods, beckoning the secretary along. 

“Huh?” Melissa gulped. What had she just said?

“Oh yes. We didn’t find a body or anything ever. It was like he had just vanished off the face of the earth,” she shrugged, leaning over to pick up a branch.

“Excuse me!?” 

“What, did I scare you?” She didn’t even look over her shoulder.

“No, no!” She corrected Schaeffer. “I was more shocked about the fact you didn’t find him. Surely he couldn’t just vanish, right? Right?” She felt frozen, and used it as an excuse to pick up some twigs and pine needles off the ground by her feet.

Schaeffer, a few feet up ahead clicked her tongue. “Dunno. Hard to tell. I’ve seen stranger things happen,” she ended on an ominous note, going back to her silence. 

Melissa broke into a jog to keep up with her. “That wasn’t anywhere near here though right? That was off in like, some PEIP thing yeah?”

Schaeffer shook her head. “Military camping ground south of Clivesdale. Yeah. He shouldn’t have been able to get out without someone seeing but he just never showed up.” She had quite the collection of sticks in her hands now. “Should’ve been safe as anything but you never know. Hand me your sticks,” she offered to carry them, which only gave Melissa’s hands more freedom to grab onto Schaeffer’s arm to ensure they wouldn’t be separated. 

“You aren’t making this job any easier on me, girl,” Schaeffer gave a quick warning, alerting Melissa to take her hands back. “Oh. My backs already bad you know. Why’ve you stopped picking things up?” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Melissa apologised, returning to helping with the sticks but not letting Schaeffer out of her sight. “Uh, I read a story once from a guy who went camping,” surely Schaeffer would find something relatable a bit scarier. “And they woke up in the middle of the night because these men put their fire out by slashing all their water things.”

“Assholes,” Schaeffer scoffed. “Are you trying to scare me again?”

“I don’t like how much emphasis you just had on trying,” Melissa tried to keep the tone light. Maybe for her own benefit. 

“Hey. One time we had to camp out on a mission back when I was a Captain, and I was out collecting firewood,” she let out a low chuckle, briefly letting Melissa into the false sense of security that it was going to be a joke. “We were supposed to be on cleared ground, it was a scheduled camp, even a bit local as far as camping spots go.”

“Yeah, kinda like here, right?” Melissa asked, snapping a twig off a tree that was hanging too low, mostly because she felt a little to stiff to lean over for branches now as they wandered slowly through the undergrowth. 

“Yeah. I stepped right into a bear trap. Hah.” Her sentence ended there. 

“What?” Melissa asked.

“What?” Schaeffer tilted her head, snatching up the few sticks in Melissa’s hand to hold them. “I stepped into a bear trap,” she repeated herself. 

“On camp grounds?”

Schaeffer nodded. “Some guys just don’t respect camping ground rules. Now where were you going with that story?” She asked, her eyes flitting upwards as a squirrel raced by on the branches up above. 

“Never mind that! Did you get out?” She was suddenly very aware of how fast the light was draining from the sky. “Do you have a flashlight?” She asked, trying to fall in line behind Schaeffer’s steps. 

“No. Corporal Blake had to cut my leg right off. Yes, Melissa. I got out,” she was sure Schaeffer was rolling her eyes, but she was laughing at least. “Still have a scar for it though. You shouldn’t go camping alone, Melissa.”

“You didn’t even want me coming in the first place,” Melissa reminded her, squinting to see with the last of the light that was being filtered through the tree. It didn’t matter though because she had stopped collecting branches now, she wasn’t going to be grabbing anything blindly now. 

“Ah that’s a positive,” Schaeffer did confirm. “It’s nice to have your company but I just don’t think camping is right for you. I thought you’d be scared of the dark.” 

“I am not scared of the dark!” She huffed. 

“Well you seem pretty scared,” Schaeffer noted. “You need to hold my hand or something?” She was joking, unfortunately, even if Melissa could make out her silhouette reaching out a hand. “Oh. Was it the bear trap story? Hey. I don’t think there are even bears in these parts. You’ll be fine.” 

“Think?” Melissa wrapped her arms tight around her sides. “And hey! I’m not scared, don’t worry about it! I know way more stories worse than stepping in a bear trap.”

“Ah well it did hurt like a bastard, I wouldn’t go being too sure. It felt like some real 127 hours situation. But sharp. Would’ve preferred the rock I think. Less blood, probably less stitches-“

“Hey I think we have enough wood!” Melissa announced over the top of her words despite the fact it was a little too dark to see how much they had collected now. “Let’s just get back on the path huh?”

“Oh, mhm,” Schaeffer nodded, brushing past Melissa as she turned around to follow the way they came. “Can you see?”

“Mhm,” Melissa grabbed onto Schaeffer’s arm again, glad she wasn’t brushed off this time. “It’s insulting you think I’m scared of the dark. You know not-soldier people can be brave too, right?”

“Yes, who said I didn’t?” She held aside some leaves for Melissa to pass under. She hadn’t remembered walking by that on her way here. Or maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. 

“Uh. I know a story- I mean, I saw a documentary about a kidnapping. Where they were supposed to go camping right? But, uh-“ she shut her eyes, not that it made much difference under the tree cover now that it was sunset, she just let Schaeffer guide her for a second. “I forget how it goes but it was good okay?”

“One time I was on a camp and someone got up in the middle of the night to head to ablutions but it was too dark to see anything and they had an unfortunate incident,” she once more countered with a better story like it was the most casual thing in the world. 

“An unfortunate incident meaning?” 

“He had a fall.” 

“Did he-?” 

Schaeffer clicked her tongue, and Melissa decided not to press any further. “Don’t like the stories huh? I’ll save them for the fire perhaps.” She reached out a hand behind her to take Melissa’s arm to hold, keeping her up to pace. 

Melissa shook her head, but leant into Schaeffer’s side regardless. “No. They don’t frighten me. Stuff happens right? I see it in documentaries.” 

“Oh good. I thought maybe I was scaring you. Give me another story, Melissa. How about it? What’s the worst you’ve seen?” 

Melissa did not want to think about the worst one she had seen, so she finished another one out of her memory. “Okay. Here’s a good camping one. Um.” Her throat felt a little dry, and her steps became stiffer as she tried to watch her footing. “So. Group of five. They get lost, right? Totally off the trail with no cell reception or anything.” Oh shoot. She grabbed her phone from her pocket with her free hand. No reception here either. Shouldn’t they be back on the path by now? “And uh. Well they- Schaeffer how far away are we?”

“I’m good with directions. Don’t worry. Go on.” 

Melissa did not trust that very much. “Well. They got lost in a national park, I think it was. And so they’re waiting for a ranger and this guy shows up. And he says he’s the ranger, but he wasn’t and he took them and-“

“Oh. Killed em? One time we heard a noise in the bush and we went to go check it out and it looked like a dog. But it wasn’t doing dog things right? Wouldn’t come when it was called. Tail was wagging and everything but it’s eyes were almost human. You know? It was just missing those little things. It’s sides weren’t rising when it breathed in and out. And the weirdest thing was that every time it barked...” she stopped herself.

“What the hell?” Melissa found it hard to be polite. “Excuse me? Wait this actually happened?

“Oh,” Schaeffer pursed her lips shut. “Right. Saving the stories for the fire. I’ll save it for later.” 

Melissa showed no shame in gripping on to Schaeffer’s side now as they made their way through the totally dark night. If she wasn’t connected to the colonel she probably wouldn’t be able to walk. She would probably just drop down and cower until it got lighter. She didn’t want to keep walking. 

“Hey. You’re alright. What happened that night was fucked up beyond belief. Yeah. Doubt anything like that will happen. Ignore all the stories okay? You’ll be fine,” Schaeffer nodded. “You aren’t scared are you? Look. Here we are.” 

She could see a silver light up ahead through the trees now anyways, and she felt air fill her lungs again and her steps grow easier again as she hurried for the tree line. “Oh! We’re here! Look, all good, we weren’t lost. I knew that, I’m not scared Schaeffer I was just worried we were lost is all!” She tried to convince Schaeffer as much as she was trying to convince herself quite honestly, but she didn’t think Schaeffer could understand the nuances. 

“See? We made it. I am good with directions,” she declared to herself, dumping the firewood in the middle. “Why don’t you get out the food. I need someone to peel the carrots for the stew I was going to make, I’ll light the fire,” she planned out loud. “Can you do that?” 

“Yep, mhm.” Doing something with her hands would probably help calm her down, and Schaeffer would be a lot quicker with the fire than her. “Okay. Here’s a good camping story,” she tried to ground herself. One ridiculous enough that it was too far from reality to frighten her much anymore. “Have you heard about the Dylatov pass incident?” She asked. It was pretty popular for how messed up it was. It would probably have the best chance to frighten her if she hadn’t already heard it. 

“Ohhh,” Schaeffer cooed. “You bet. Makes you think about how bad tents are for protection.”

“Oh my god I hate it here,” Melissa held her hands to her head for a second, forcing herself to focus. Fortunately she was banking on being with the colonel for protection rather than the tent. 

“Hey. Be careful with that knife. A soldier cut his finger off once being slack about it.” 

Melissa felt a shiver race straight down her spine and even made her legs twitch. She shifted onto her knees instead, peeling the carrots away from her. She wanted to snap at her to warn her not to make it any worse but that would only he admitting out loud she was scared, and she wanted to scare Schaeffer first before Schaeffer could scare her. 

Maybe she would have to come up with one. Yes, time to fall back on making up a scary story about expense reports and paper work. Because at this rate she was more likely to be able to make one up than find one that could actually scare her. 

It was hard to see what part of the vegetable she was yet to peel when it was getting this dark, and hard to tell what rustling was from Schaeffer building the fire and what could be from something else. Someone else. She just wanted to get this done as soon as possible so she could help with the fire and get some light back. The clearing was so big and she might not hear a noise over the sounds they were making. 

Suddenly there was a movement from right behind her, and the tree by the tent shook as something shot out into the clearing. 

“Shit!” She gasped, attempting to spin around and raising a hand to her face. 

“Melissa?” Schaeffer snorted. “That was an owl, what’re you on about?” In the first few crackles of the orange glow of the fire, she could see Schaeffer’s smirk. “Look. The fire is set.” She held out a hand to return the matches to Melissa. 

Melissa held out a hand to grab them from her palm. Kind of wanting to hold her hand for a moment as she caught her breath and so quite shamelessly again, she did. “Schaeffer. I didn’t see. It was right above me.” 

“Yeah. You get owls in this area. I don’t hear you swear often.”

“I’m done,” Melissa licked her chapped lips, grabbing her water bottle from the rucksack and curling in on herself. 

“Oh, perfect job with the carrots Melissa,” Schaeffer grabbed them from her side of the fire, placing them with the rest of the ingredients as a warm and orange glow slowly began to wash over the clearing.  
No one was sneaking up on her now at least. 

“Okay,” she took in a deep breath, holding her hands out to the fire. 

“You’re all good. Kid. There’s no one else out here in these woods, just some birds,” Schaeffer grabbed out her pocket knife to slice out the carrots she was holding onto the cooking pot. “Hey. Fire’s lit,” Schaeffer pointed like it wasn’t already obvious. “I’m ready to hear some of those scary stories now,” she tilted her head at the fire pit. “Or did you want me to finish mine?”

Melissa exhaled a shaky breath, trying not to laugh. It was just a bird. “Maybe let’s just skip the scary stories for tonight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Listen that Dog one messes me up & I can find the link if anyone needs it but like 😳


End file.
